People share their all-time favorite tweets in this hilarious thread

Kick Lensing

7 jaar geleden

Fred Delicious asked his followers for their all-time favorite tweet which resulted in a thread that’s packed with just the best of the best. Grab a drink, popcorn and a shitload of tissues: we collected some of the ultimate gems.

1. The epic thread starts out with just one simple request.

Reply to this with your all-time favourite tweet

— Fred Delicious 🍆 (@Fred_Delicious) May 3, 2018

2. Shortly, the tap started flowing.

My son 🙋🏽‍♂️was SO cute today, he asked me "dad are clouds candy?" 😍 I told him they were water. 💦 Then he asked "dad, what's Earth's defense system?" and then I remembered I don't have a son and he asked again his eyes now obsidian black "what is the defense system father"

— ✨Omar Najam✨ 🖤🤍💜 (@OmarNajam) November 28, 2017

3. That escalated quickly.

We're a modest company with modest goals:
1: sell a quality product at a fair price
2: drain the world's oceans so we can find and kill god

— Stev D (@Stev_D) October 21, 2014

4. This one sure has some, well…

[Dentist waiting room]

Me: [chanting] teeth, teeth-

Other patients: teeth, TEETH

Secretary: [pounding her clipboard] TEETH, TEETH, TEETH!

— brandAn is good (@LeBearGirdle) August 17, 2017

5. Run, Dave, run.

I'm trying to find the president of the Tom Hanks fan club. He's like yay Big.

— Dave Shumka (@daveshumka) December 7, 2015

6. Some tweets are really the würst.

So weird that hot dogs come in packs of ten but my butthole can only fit eight so far

— Megan Amram (@meganamram) October 19, 2012

7. Other tweets are wrong on so many levels.

https://twitter.com/ohen39/status/921391989240688642

8. Rumors are the band kept playing.

The story of the Titanic speaks to me because I once tripped over a bag of ice at a party & then killed over 1,500 people.

— rob delaney (@robdelaney) April 14, 2012

9. So unfair.

https://twitter.com/figgled/status/887405171910647808

10. Did you know Wiz Khalifa studied meteorology?

Cloudy with a chance of my balls in ur mouth

— Taylor Gang World Leader (@wizkhalifa) November 10, 2013

11. Dan had a near mistress.

[introducing girlfriend to my family]
me: this is my girlfriend janine
janine: hi
wife: what the fuck

— dan mentos (@DanMentos) August 11, 2016

12. Huh. Weird.

My "Not involved in human trafficking" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.

— mike ginn (@shutupmikeginn) November 21, 2013

13. It took some time for Jon to even trust his dentist after this.

ME [suspicious my therapist's a ghost] I keep having a dream about a wall
THERAPIST: Maybe u could walk me through it
ME [quietly] Holy shit

— Jon (@ArfMeasures) February 9, 2016

14. Funerals are popular subjects.

Me: *slapping my older brother in the face with his own hand* haha stop hitting yourself, why are you hitting yourself

Sister-in-law: *crying* is this why you wanted an open casket

— dick snickers (@smithsara79) December 11, 2017

15. Really popular.

*stomps feet twice and claps over and over until everyone at the funeral is doing it* "we will…we will..miss you"

— brent (@murrman5) July 12, 2015

16. P.R.I.

The inventor of the anagram has died.
May he erect a penis.

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) September 9, 2014

17. This epic tweet was copied lots of times, but here is the original.

[sees girl reading The Catcher in the Rye]
"Ah I love that book. The way he just [clenches fist] catches all that frickin rye."

— David Hughes (@david8hughes) June 1, 2014

18. David is even twinning twice.

[at the mall]
"Excuse me? I lost my son. Can I please make an announcement?"
"Of course."
[leans in to mic]
"Goodbye you little shit."

— David Hughes (@david8hughes) May 9, 2014

19. Nathan sure nailed it.

https://twitter.com/thenatewolf/status/658541632623476736

20. You had me at high.

https://twitter.com/_coryrichardson/status/970042284816334848

Replies are still coming in, read them all here!